5 Basic Needs for Teenagers

Puberty is one of the hardest periods for children and parents. Teenagers between the ages of 12 and 17 can become hot-tempered, sometimes even irrational and it’s most often expressed during communication at home. Natalia Forostina, a psychologist with 20 years of experience, has talked about teenager’s basic needs with parents of participants of the “School of Success” 2018. We want to share her pearls of wisdom with you!

A basic need for children and  teenagers is the unconditional love of their parents- giving them the feeling that they are loved with no constraints and despite everything. It’s important to understand that a child shouldn’t need good grades or to be obedient to be loved. Do not use phrases like  “This is why I love you” or “no one will love you if you are so scruffy”.

No matter if  you have a son or a daughter, let them be strong- every teenager needs this independence. During adolescence it’s important to teach children to be responsible for their actions, words, and academic achievements- but don’t forget to support and motivate them. In turn, it’s important to remember that anyone has every right to feelings and you especially shouldn’t inhibit young men with phrases such as “Why are you crying? Men don’t cry!”. In such cases it’s be better to try to remedy the problem and offer your support: “Yes, I understand that you’re hurt, how can I help you?”

For a child, it’s important to feel important. Young  girls often want to be a part of something and to know  their opinions will be taken into account. Don’t suppress your child’s beliefs with: : “No one asked you”, or “It’s your parent’s business, stay out of it!”. You can consult your child instead: “Daughter, you have a good taste, please recommend something for me to wear!”

Each child from the age of 3 needs private space. Even at this age parents need to learn to respect a child’s personal boundaries. It’s not just about their bodies or in a room, but about personality too. For example, don’t take your child’s stuff without permission, or do not enter their room without knocking. Children who are raised without respect to their property usually have problems with boundaries, which can lead to problems with bullying in later life.

Finally, teenagers need to be allowed to be curious and experiment with things. From the day we are born, we are actively studying and exploring the world. Do not scold your child for a broken toy, because doing this can kill their curiosity.

Follow these easy rules and you will become the best friends to your children!